Mother

Was I brutal in your womb?
Born but missing,
Immune to heartbeats,
A legitimate bastard,
A short-timer on an icy teat.
I knew the length of your arm
And the slapshock of home correction
From my father' s conjured shadow.
Not mute but mutable,
Misreading your genetic wish-list,
I was bright but noisy,
Hamlet to a living ghost,
Raging on a bungalow roof,
Attempting approval appeasement,
This melancholy prince
Searched heavily for the loose gutter
To fall like beautiful Lucifer.
Can you find your heart?
Turn from that mirror, your hair is fine.
See me fade from your autobiography,
A marionette in mime costume
Sinking in a saline pool.
Mother, cry your caustic tears,
Whisper words of shallow songs
And dance in dreams alone.
I could never love you enough to be stillborn.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa.....